The Top 5 Albums of 2014
At our final Team Meeting of 2013, there was one consistent complaint across all regions of the PoA Pty Ltd global identity — we'd continually failed to captialise on the World Wide WWW's love of annual wrap-up lists. We'd failed to compile and publish a list of the Top 100 Beyonce Songs of 2013. We'd also never publicly noted the Top 12 Moments International Publications Mentioned Courtney Barnett That Made Us Feel Like Absolute Trendsetting Legends. Hell, we'd even forgotten to update our Top 18 U-God Aliases of All Time. Not one to shy away from the paramount responsibilities bestowed upon a Fortune 5 Million publicly-listed entity, we've taken this feedback and run with it. All the way to the bank. Cha-ching. Feel the hits.
Here's a complete list of the best albums of 2014. All comments posted contradicting this list will be immediately deleted. See ya in 2015.
This is NOT a photo of Bruce Springsteen. Putting this image here is slightly misleading.
5. Bruce Springsteen - High Hopes
Never one to shy away from irony, on his 124th album The Boss [citation required] jokingly jabs in the direction of his gigantic fanbase. "I feel the pressure of continually producing songs as good as Born To Run. My fans have grand expectations.", sneers Bruce, between sips of Guava-flavoured Vitamin Water. Meanwhile, in the corner of the room, Tom Morello giggles in that high-pitched hyena-like pitch he's become world-renown for.
It's funny that even Large Record Labels with all their expertise into the technology that empowers their industry still fail to successfully correlate the relationship between Soundcloud Album Previews and Album Leaks. High Hopes is officially out on January 14. Happy new year Web Sheriffs.
4. King Louie - Drilluminati 2
The sequel to 2012's monster Drilluminati was released just before Christmas, but because of that calendar period's traditional connection with Joy and Goodwill there seemed little room for an album with an opening track entitled Fuck Is These Niggaz. But it's not all grammatical slip-ups, this tape is a genuine testical-sweller, ideal for office cubicle psych-ups ahead of 'chatting' with your Boss (#noSpringsteen) about that New Year pay increase.
Free download via Datpiff.
3. French Montana - Coke Boys 4
Frenchy and the Fellas (included the recently "coked in", Lil Flip) on their fourth lap around. Featuring guest spots from Lana Del Ray (um, it's just a sample), Rick Ross, Diddy, Snoop and Wiz.
And, best of all, those with the New Years Resolution to hear Jadakiss over a Harry Fraud beat can just take the next twelve months off...
Bonus points for following up the intro with a skit. Audacious move Monty.
Free download via Datpiff.
2. Yon Yonson - Hypomantra
We've been reaching around on Sydney's Yon Yonson for a little while now. This is their best work to date and while the ever-humble duo describe it as "some terrible songs about red wine, tertiary education, boredom, trailer parks and chinese pancakes", it's much much more. A wonderfully spacious collage with more ideas than tracks, genuine experimentation without all that "we know we're pretty experimental". You know exactly what I mean.
Available as a pay-whatever-yer-like download over on Bandcamp.
1. Bare Grillz - Friends
Eighteen Woodstock Cans Deep* on #NYE2013 and it was collectively decided that this was the only thing worth getting out of bed for in 2014. Other than Season 2 of House Of Cards. Obvs. Two from two.
Grab the limited-edition vinyl of Friends now over on Bandcamp.
* Also the name of my Heavy Metal Bluegrass troupe. New album out in the second quarter of 2015.