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Hard-Ons want your money

Hard-Ons and Dave Grohl
Dave Grohl (who once played in a famous band called Mudhoney) storming the stage at a Hard-Ons show.

To be honest with you (loyal reader, potential cyber sex partner, friend) I thought this whole 'global financial meltdown' that we have been hearing about was all just a little bit of BS that the Wall Street types were trying to sell us in order to detract our attention from the fact they were really just yelling obscenities at each other all day instead of doing real work like us 'working muddaphuckers'.

BUT THEN I got word that even the music industry was starting to suffer under some sort of 'balance sheet irregularities'. This is the same industry that survived the whole 'cassette-to-CD' revolution of 1992, as well as the 'CD-to-minidisc-to-CD' coup of 1998 - so you know if they are hitting bad times the whole thing must be 'fo realz'.

It comes as little surprise that the peeps hit worst within the music hierarchy are those at the top. Yer know, tall poppy down syndrome etc. Sydney punk rock legends the Hard-Ons have recently come into 'money issues' while attempting to create their new record AND are calling on YOU to give something back (money) in order to help the new album see the light of day.

The group are playing three very special shows in November. Those attending the shows (tickets are just $12) will not only get 'schooled' by one of the finest punk bands ever BUT they will also get a CD entitled Pay Attention Collector Scum, which contains FIVE songs that have never previously been released. Each CD will be individually numbered and signed by the band AND only 500 copies of them will be pressed. Collectors edition!! Worth millions in 5 years time!

You rich(er) peeps also have the option to 'go deluxe' and pay $30 for a ticket to the show where you will not only get everything than your $12-payin-tight-ass-mates will get BUT also a copy of the NEW album once it was has been recorded and pressed. You will be presented with a certificate of thanks, which will be numbered and signed by the band. Again - collectors edition!!! Ebay!!!

If all that wasn't enough - each ticket is a special collectors item in itself as it has been personally designed by bassist Ray Ahn. At the end of every show the group will also be giving away an original piece of art by Ray to some extremely lucky fan.

Holy shit. The Hard-Ons marketing team has really stepped it up a notch this time around.

Of course (in case you forgot amidst all that excitement) the whole reason for the shows AND the excessive amount of options/giveaways/deals is to help the Hard-Ons get their new album recorded and out to the masses. All funds (err.. maybe profits) go straight into the pockets of the band and, assuming they don't go nuts and get crazy drunk at each show (punk band?), it will go towards studio time, refreshments and paying some guy to take their stuff from tape and make into 'buyable music'.

And the dates for the special shows:

Friday, November 7: Excelsior Hotel, Sydney
Friday, November 14: Sodens, Albury
Saturday, November 15: The Tote, Melbourne

The special pre-sale tickets are available at Red Eye Records (Sydney), Missing Link (Melbourne), Moshtix and the Hard-On' MySpace.

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