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Polaroids Of Androids

Record Reviews


Lovely Legs / Cannon
Split Cassette

Got It Made, the opener on the Lovely Legs' side of this cassette, shares it's title with a billion hip-hop songs detailing the pitfalls of Moet investments, Monet purchases and money laundering dreams, but has little in common with such fiscal recklessness. Instead The Leggers focus their attention on shelving a full pack of Ritalin and playing along to a bunch of timeless country music records incorrectly set at 780rpm instead of the standard 33rpm, murmuring over the bits when they're not sure of the words and sculling from a can of warm XXXX when they definitely don't know the words.

Disappointingly, this style doesn't continue through the rest of side A, with (I Ain't) Going To Waste discarding the cuntry twang for the over-worn path of bored tween garage, while Dumb drags us further away from the farm, dumping us in the middle of another birthday party on Brown Sugar Boulevard, amidst a bunch of moody, boot-staring, blues-revivalists. Thankfully, Lovely Legs return to (what should be) their signature sound for the 90-second closer, Mr Death, a frantic mess that appears dead-set on running straight and hard into the brick walls of rural reality, before collapsing into a heap under the relentless pressures of the drought, the recession and the aftermath of an extremely heavy evening on the Bundy Drys.

Picking up right where this drunken mess climaxes, side B features fellow Brisbaners, Cannon, re-enacting all five scenes from their critically under-appreciated Blerndaddy EP. Arrogantly snubbing the benefits of the chosen digital cassette format, the troupe decide to maintain the original's completely live, un-mixed, un-mastered nature. It's an absolutely filthy recording which audiophiles, pedophiles and people who care about sound quality and fingering children's unspeakables will probably have a mild heartache over. Good riddance to them too, as there's no room for any critique of quality (or kiddy fiddling) here, not in a world dominated by drunken slurs, vomit stains and the numerous other characteristics of party-til-ya-puke-on-ya-nannas-face genre. This is music defined by it's loose symbol crashes and memorable guitar riffs, but primarily controlled by the outdoor tin-shed dunny vocals that grunt and mumble at us from their domineeringly high position in the mix. Operating more as an extra rhythmic device than a communication method, the vocals also function as the solitary element of distinction that separates each clattering piece of music.

Unlike Lovely Legs, Cannons offer nothing in the way of variety, rarely migrating from the beer-spilling back room of Some House Party in the Brisby suburbs, and never pretending to be anything but a bunch of fun-seeking, drunken maniacs. Also contradicting their counterpart's slightly over-measured contribution, Cannons give us a perfectly uncontrolled and joyfully unhinged calamity, offering up a small slab of music that's uniquely their own and drenched in a beautiful rawness that would surely only suffocate under any additional investment of time or mastering effort.

Download Lovely Legs' side here and Cannons' 'Blerndaddy EP' here.

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Record Reviews
Lovely Legs


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